Marolyn: Will I ever relax again?

In these preparent times, I like to look around me and wonder - after birth, will I ever have any time? Will I be able to read a book in between diapers, work, bottles, diapers, crying (mine, Ruth's and baby's). Will I make art, write? Will I be happy?

Am I happy now? Have I ever been happy?

I have a very strong and constant urge to move back to LA. I don't know if it's real or make believe. If the urge is for difference or the past.

I am looking for a new job. I am hoping to find something good.

On the other hand - I am relaxing now, I don't have Sunday anxiety at this moment and it has been so sunny today, the laundry has dried. Life's not so bad.

We are in the middle of our second insemination cycle. Exciting and challenging - logostically - as I am the driver and schedule maker. Thinking about it now, I probably have the easiest job out of the three of us. I hope it works soon. Please.

much love,
Marolyn