Ruth: sleepless in owhiro...

I have a headache, achey joints, I feel overly emotional about things and I feel slightly nauseous. Pregnancy symptoms? I wish they were. Actually I'm just stressed out.

I was working till 9:30pm with a workmate to try and meet one of my 3 deadlines at the end of this week.

At 3am I was feeling so sick and so very awake that I couldn't take it any more. I finally caved in and took the pregnancy test. It felt kind of festive. Marolyn did very well to muster enthusiasm at that time in the morning. Waiting and watching the flashing little test symbol was exciting. The answer said 'not pregnant'. We both had to sit in silence for a while taking it in before either of us could decide how we felt.

It could still be to early to tell. But I'm glad I tested. I fell asleep pretty soon after that.

Going from possibly pregnant to probably not pregnant was disappointing but also, surprisingly, a relief. I feel like it will happen when it happens and this month has been such an up and down ride it will be nice to feel a bit more level and in newly familiar territory when we insemminate again next month. So right now I'm enjoying the process. No promises that I'll keep feeling that way.